that goal, he had forfeited the others. His rigid spell language limited his abilities, frustrated all his attempts to heal. Kell had told him, long ago. You have hidden so well that any more you might have been is lost. You have become these regimented paths, and the places to which they lead.
And those paths of thought, that spell language, led to destruction. Because that was the truth hidden inside him.
Was that what Elric had wanted him to remember?
I tell you because I do not believe you can become a complete person until you reclaim this piece of yourself.
Galen didn't see how this could help him become whole. He arose from violence, and he generated violence.
You have overcome much.
But he had not overcome it at all. He was consumed by it.
We choose to live in knowledge, not ignorance.
So he hid from himself no longer. He now knew why he was as he was. As for why he was a techno-mage, his old reasons no longer made sense. He could not heal; he could not undo damage; he could not make up for wrongs. He could do no good at all.
Perhaps, though, those had never been his real goals-or at least not all of them. For there was a greater truth from which he hid. While he had loved his parents-in some way he could barely understand-and while he had mourned them, he knew that a part of him had been relieved at their passing. Part of him, perhaps, had even wished for them to die. Had wished to kill them. To stop them from ever fighting again.
That desire, he feared, had been the dark, secret heart of his dream to become a techno-mage.
He had told himself he wanted to heal, when in truth, he wanted only to kill.
Although his original targets had prematurely destroyed themselves, he had found new targets, and new reasons for pursuing them.